A ZULU/WESTERN WEDDING FOR MY BABY SISTER

I have just returned to work after spending a week and a half at home attending my baby sister’s wedding. It was a week of a lot of things - busy, funny, loud, emotional, reunion with old relatives and just downright fun. It was mostly busy for me and my older sisters. We wanted to make sure that our baby sister, the last born of the family had everything in order for the big weekend.

It was a three day function but it actually starts a week before with relatives arriving and offering help. The house becomes so filled up, people end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge. Something about family being together is so warm and special. My feet are recovering from dancing and long hours of standing. I have discovered muscles in my arms from lifting boxes of presents and rearranging furniture in the hall, decorating and so on. There was of lot of driving to and fro, picking up this and that.

Zandile and her husband Slindile decided on a deeply traditional way to tie the knot. Some of things were done back in the sixties. Her wedding was actually similar to the way my mother got married. Like the Friday night tradition where she and her childhood friends and our neighbours spend most of evening at the groom’s family singing, dancing and competing with the people from the groom’s side.

They came back at dawn for a few hours of sleep before the big white Western wedding on Saturday. While her wedding was traditional, I was happy that they chose a female minister to bless them. Instead of my father, my mother spoke in the church. She spoke of the friendship she has forged with my sister’s new mother-in-law. There was a nice touch to it, combining tradition with a newfound recognition of a role by played by women in society. A role that is vital but often taken for granted.

Zandile looked all grown up and she was stunning in her white wedding dress. The little girl I use to help dress for school, fetch from school and fight for is now Mrs Zondi. She is now somebody’s wife and later somebody’s mother. Girls get together are going to be slightly limited. Christmas and New Year celebrations at home are going to be with a tinge of loneliness since she may have to be with her new family now.

Sunday was my favourite part of her wedding day where all things were done in a very traditional manner. She looked great, dressed in a tradition gear of a new “makoti” – bride. There was a lot of Zulu dance, Zulu beer and meat to eat. It was fun to remind myself the rhythms of a Zulu dance, I am a bit out of shape and out of practice but it was fun nonetheless.

Now all I can hope for is that the happy weekend extends to a happy marriage for my sister. Same thing is happening next year with my older sister, Tholakele, the first born of the family. A dowry-lobolo has been negotiated. Hopefully my muscles would have fully recovered next time round and my Zulu dance steps would be in order.